By: dr. Rossalina Sp.KJ (dr. Lili)

As a human being, it is normal for us to have feelings. Our feelings exist whether we want them to or not.

To experience my feelings as strengths, the first thing that I need to do is to learn to be aware of and take ownership of them.

While some feelings are spontaneous manifestations of what is awakened in me, other feelings have a history and given this, there is always a “good reason” why they are triggered. In order to know myself better and become empowered by my feelings, it is important that I pay attention to them and identify their origins… whether they originate purely in today’s reality or whether they have a history.

MANAGING OUR FEELINGS

Feelings are not easily dismissed or understood at first glance. At times, effort and attention are required in order to understand what the content of your feeling is, what is actually going on inside yourself. In order to learn more concretely how to manage your feelings:

Pay particular attention to your feelings

In order to manage your feelings, you need to get to know them and to identify them accurately. This is only possible when you pay attention and become aware, as much as possible, to what is alive in you. It is important to ask yourself questions such as: What do I feel right now?

Recognize your overreactions and learn how to manage them

Train yourself to recognize the various types of overreactions you live in your life. Whenever a reaction is bigger than the actual situation warrants or if it lasts more than 24 hours, it may be a sign that something from your past has been triggered. By taking time to explore it more fully, I will understand myself better. This self-knowledge will eventually lead to our inner freedom.

Develop your strengths and learn to manage your overreaction. Give yourself time to explore what was triggered. It is helpful to ask yourself questions such as: What triggered (or set off) my overreaction?

Write your experience with the help of these questions as it is the best known way to explore reactions. Do not judge yourself or get caught in feeling guilty. You are in the process of learning something about yourself. Keep in mind that you are more than these reactions and that you have capacities to manage them differently. It is no fun to experience overreactions, however, these can help you access important information about yourself and lead you to healing and inner freedom. Learn to see your reality for what it is.

Entering into your sensation through writing

When something is awakened, taking time to focus attention on it is essential. Ask yourself what do I feel right now and namethe feeling as accurately as possible.

• Listen attentively to yourself: What is the feeling trying to tell me? When did I first start to feel this way? What lies under the feeling? Identify and write down the words to describe as accurately as possible the experience as you feel it.
• Verifying what is new from the written work is essential. It is also important to ask yourself if there anything can be done differently if the situation warrants it. Making an act of existence is important whenever you feel that action is required.
• Finally, ask yourself: On what can I rely in order to manage my reaction? For example: I am valuable, I am allow myself to sit with my feelings, I take the other people into consideration, I like the other person, I want to move forward, I have patience and respect, I want to know myself better, etc.

This is an ongoing process. It takes time to put order in one’s life. Being patient and compassionate with oneself is key in continuing this work of personal growth.

If you want to growth in relationship with your feeling and how to live it constructively. PRH Indonesia is happy to help. We can offer you personal helping relationship or the workshop “Power of Feelings” (9 hours).

Here is a testimony (in Bahasa Indonesia) from a participant of who attended the workshop (also available at: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CBrr4qJHfTw/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link)